Single Gay Boy, Seeking Same
by Laureen
Summary: When the bullying gets hard for Kurt to deal with he turns to a support forum for LGBTQ Youth, where one of the other teens strikes up a conversation with him almost immediately. Kurt and Blaine begin a friendship that progresses from emails to text messages, until Kurt realizes that this friendship has become so much more to him.


**Notes: **I am so lucky in that I had not one, but two amazing beta readers who saved me from spelling and grammar mistakes, helped rewrite the ending, helped with a thousand different story problems, gave me a title, and were just generally awesome. So thank you so, so much to kayoko and faire_weather. I honestly could not have done it without you!

This fic was written for the Glee Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal. Standard disclaimers apply.

* * *

Another day at McKinley High, another day of bullying, of torture, and (let's be honest) ruined outfits. Kurt wasn't having a good day, and having Mr. Schuester catch Kurt being bullied and only want to _talk_ about it did not make things any easier. Still, he'll take what he can get for now. Because for Kurt Hummel, this is only a temporary situation. He's going to finish school, get out of Ohio, and get a boyfriend. In that order, because this is Ohio and the chances of Kurt finding another gay boy, let alone a gay boy who _likes_ him just isn't happening.

"Is there anything that I can do?" Mr. Schuester asks, extending a paper cup of water towards Kurt. It's not that Kurt hasn't seen this before, hasn't been asked that before. And he wants to tell Mr. Schuester that of course there is, starting with making sure that bullies like Karofsky are expelled, like protecting not just Kurt but the rest of the Glee Club from the attacks that seem to come along every day in the form of iceberg slushes, locker shoves and dumpster dives. He knows Artie's been locked in the porta-potties before, and a staff member never has done anything to prevent the abuse, so why would this time be any different? So, "No. This is my hill to climb alone." He takes the cup of water with a sigh, watching Mr. Schuester bite his own lip.

"Can I be honest?" Mr. Schuester looks saddened, and Kurt dips his head slightly in a nod. "I think it's getting to you. Usually this stuff rolls right off your back, but lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away."

And that hurts. What could anyone expect from Kurt, so he turns it around, his voice cool as he asks "Can I be honest with you?" He barely waits for Mr. Schuester to nods before going on. "You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide." But just that isn't enough, so he finishes with "And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenge any of us." Kurt looked away, out the open doorway that prevents any real open discourse, because what teenager wants to confess to a teacher, any teacher, about the rampant bullying that's going on when anyone can hear.  
"You and I both know that it's not the boys versus girls that's been getting to you, Kurt. Talk to me."

"To answer your question: yes. I am unhappy. And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down," Kurt shifted in his seat, setting the paper cup of water Mr. Schuester gave him not two minutes ago on the desk. His eyes flicker between Mr. Schuester and the wide-open door. He can hear the other students rushing between classes, lockers slamming closed, unable to help the slight flinch with every slam. Mr. Schuester seems to notice, though, and he gets up, closing the door with a soft _click_.

"You know, Kurt, just because you're the only openly gay student at McKinley, doesn't mean you're the only one." He pauses as Kurt snorts in derision. "Look, I understand how hard it is to stand out when you're a teenager."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schue, but you don't understand how it feels to be me, you can't possibly…" Kurt trails off, his hand lifting in a fluttering wave.

"No, you're right. I can't see things from your point of view because I'm not gay."

Kurt shifts in the chair again, standing up and grabbing his bag with a huff. Of course he didn't think Mr. Schuester was gay, although with how much product he used Kurt wouldn't have been surprised, but to hear it said that bluntly was colder than any slushy.

"Kurt, wait." Mr. Schuester waits for Kurt to stop and settle back into the seat before going on. "I can't understand what you've been going through, which is why I talked to Miss Pillsbury and she suggested that you take a look at some of these pamphlets." He pulls a couple of pamphlets, the same ones that Miss Pillsbury liked to keep on display in her office, and extends them towards Kurt.

"I don't think a few pamphlets will solve this." Kurt takes the pamphlets with a shaky hand. "But I do appreciate that you… thought of my situation." The words are delicate, almost formal, but Kurt can't express how much it means that Mr. Schue is at least trying to understand, which is so much more than he expected.

"One of the pamphlets is about a website for gay youth, a place where you can talk to other people who understand what you're going through, Kurt. I may not be able to understand, but there are people out there who do. Just please," Mr. Schuester looks awkward, his face pinched into a frown, "please be careful. Don't, you know, exchange personal information and—"

"I know!" Kurt cuts him off, his face flushing pink. He's been given the lecture on Internet safety before, and getting it from a teacher who just handed him pamphlets about being gay is not a situation he wants to be in. He stands up, turning towards the closed door before stopping. "Thanks, Mr. Schue. And I didn't mean what I said before. I mean, the lessons are repetitive, of course, but," he looks over his shoulder, smiling for the first time in weeks, "they're never boring."

* * *

Even though Kurt said that the lessons in Glee were never boring, it seemed that Mr. Schuester had decided that the lessons being repetitive was reason enough to make some changes to the way the girls versus boys assignment would be handled.

"Guys, you need to do songs that are traditionally done by girls. And girls, try a little classic rock. You know, the Who, etc."

Kurt couldn't restrain the tiny clapping of hands that came as a result. Instead of being forced to sing backup as the guys sang something by Kiss (and really, those costumes had been dreadful and Kurt had been so much happier in his Lady Gaga costume), Kurt could take the lead. He'd already prepared mood boards with costumes and song selections just in case the possibility ever came up.

"You know Kurt, you in sequins and a gown is exactly the kind of things people would expect." Artie said, frowning at Kurt. And while Kurt always said that fashion knows no gender, it wasn't like he could honestly pull off sequins or a gown, so what Artie was saying… what he was implying, hurt. Kurt was gay, but that in no way made him a woman.

"Yeah, why don't you make yourself useful and go spy on the Garblers?" Puck offered derisively.

"The Warblers," Kurt corrected, his voice lofty and cold as he looked at the boys. While Mr. Schuester may not have known what it was like to be the only openly gay boy, at least he had made an effort to understand. Looking at the boys around him, Kurt felt his stomach sinking. These boys would never understand, and they would never even try to understand. He snatched up the mood boards, his chin tipping upwards as he turns to look down his nose at the boys. "Spying is beneath me. But what I will do is let you guys decide which songs we're singing and which of you I get to sing backup vocals to. I'm going home." He spun on his heel, stalking to the door in a movement more suited to the runway of a McQueen show than a high school classroom.

* * *

Kurt didn't go straight home after Glee. After arguing over song choices, being _insulted_ by Artie's assumption that all gay men, or at least Kurt, wore sequins and gowns, and refusing to lower himself to Puck's standards and _spy_... Kurt couldn't just go home. Instead, he got into his Navigator, mood boards discarded in a messy heap on the backseat. He considered straightening them up—making sure the fabric wouldn't wrinkle and the sketches wouldn't smudge—but it wasn't worth it for a series of outfits he would never have the opportunity to wear.

Kurt drove, avoiding his house and the shop, his stomach rolling as he turned up the volume on his iPod and belted along with the music. It was an hour before Kurt finally pulled into the parking lot of the Lima Bean. The coffee shop looked surprisingly busy for a weekday, and Kurt frowned before wrapping his scarf in a loose loop around his neck and getting out. The door opened as he got closer, and a group of prep school boys left, laughing loudly. One slowed down to hold the door open, juggling his paper cup with his other hand, and Kurt couldn't help the quick once over he gave the boy, lingering on hazel eyes and gelled down dark hair before smiling, abruptly remembering his manners. "Thanks," he murmured, flushing at the answering smile.

"No problem." And then he was gone, and Kurt allowed himself a half moment longer to admire the sight of the other boy walking away. He sighed, looking at the other boy's hair again, and shook his head ruefully. Someone should really tell that boy that the slicked back look was _so_ Draco Malfoy in his early years—and not in a good way. When the door finally swung shut and Kurt could no longer see the boy, he turned to the counter, grumbling out "Large non-fat mocha" when the barista asked for his order.

What Kurt didn't notice was the look the other boy had given him, the half-smile, and the way his friends grinned and pushed him when he caught up to them.

* * *

When Kurt pulled up into the driveway there were no other cars parked, and he let out a small sigh in relief. His dad wasn't home yet, which means Kurt wouldn't have to try and come up with something to say about Glee Club today. He didn't think telling his dad about the argument he'd had with the boys would help any, but he couldn't say it had been good when it hadn't been. He'd never outright lied to his dad before, and he didn't want to start today.

Kurt gathered the mood boards from the car with one practiced hand, holding the paper cup of coffee delicately in his other, before nudging the car door closed with the toe of his boots. Unlocking and getting inside the house took some careful maneuvering, but he managed it and was soon seated at the computer desk in his room, waiting for the computer to power up. He leaned back in his chair, one arm hooked around the back as he took a sip of the still steaming hot coffee.

Kurt set his coffee down, quickly opening up his browser and typing in the URL for the webpage without bothering to verify it on the pamphlet—it felt like the address had been burned into his mind from just the brief look he gave it when Mr. Schuester handed it to him. The page loaded quickly, and Kurt was able to create an account almost as fast. It was then that he started to hesitate.

Kurt was gay. He'd known he was gay for pretty much his entire life, and he was okay with that. But he'd never met someone else who was gay, or at least who was out—because he still had his doubts about Sam. There was the irrational worry about 'What if they didn't like him?' or the worry that he would be just as invisible online as he felt most of the time at school. Kurt was not a coward, though.

Kurt's introduction post was simple. He mentioned that he was sixteen, a junior in high school, and that he was the only out person at his school. His teacher had been the one to suggest he try this webpage out, but Kurt hoped he'd be able to "meet" some other guys who understood. He was surprised when there was a response almost immediately.

**New Message from BWarbles:**  
"Hey! Always nice to see new members on here! Especially ones who are my age. ;) It's nice to meet you, new kid! Your teacher is the one who suggested you join? That's awesome. Most teachers I've seen before would never even think to suggest that! You're pretty lucky."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, reading the message again before scoffing at the winking face. It wasn't what he was expecting, but then again, this was the Internet, and people tended to be more informal.

**Me:**  
"Thank you. I think. I guess you could say I'm lucky. Although I'm not entirely sure I would agree with that…"

Kurt waited a moment after posting his response before letting out a slow, shaky breath. A notification popped up on his screen, asking him to accept an incoming chat request from BWarbles. Kurt looked towards the stairs before clicking on the accept button.

**BWarbles:** Hey! I'm Blaine.

Kurt paused, thinking for a moment. He couldn't be sure that Blaine was the other boy's name, and the idea of sharing his personal information was, of course, terrifying. After all, Kurt knew the statistics and just how unsafe it was but… just his first name seemed safe enough.

**Me:** Hi, Blaine. My name is Kurt. It's nice to "meet" you.

**BWarbles:** I take it you're having trouble at school?

**Me:** I'm the only person out of the closet at my school. And I try to stay strong about it but there's this Neanderthal who has made it his mission to make my life a living hell.

**Me:** And nobody seems to notice.

**BWarbles:** I know how you feel. But you have to know that it does get better, Kurt. Me, I ran. I left my school and went to a private school where bullying isn't tolerated, but that's not for everyone. I know that.

**Me:** I can't do that. I wish I could, but it's not an option for me.

**BWarbles:** Then you can refuse to be the victim. Prejudice is just ignorance, and you have the chance to teach him. Confront him!

Kurt snorted, rolling his eyes at the other boy's innocent _optimism_.

**Me:** Somehow, I don't think that would end very well, Blaine. He's on the football team, and I embody pretty much every stereotype about gay guys.

There was a lengthy lull in the conversation. Kurt was almost ready to give up before another message popped up on his screen.

**BWarbles:** You're probably right. I mean, I'd like to think it's easy, but I ran and never tried to stand up for myself. I let the bullies chase me away, and I regret that. But… you need to be safe, right? Especially if running away isn't an option for you.

**BWarbles:** So. Even though I give terrible advice, I still want to be here for you. It seems like you need a friend who really gets it, Kurt, and I'd like to be that friend.

Kurt grinned, leaning back and laughing softly. Somewhere out there, a gay boy his own age wanted to be _friends_ with him!

**Me:** I'd like that. A lot, actually. Thank you, Blaine.

**BWarbles:** Anytime, Kurt. :) So, tell me some more about yourself? I'm an only child, love football, singing, and coffee.

Kurt grinned again, fingers flying over the keyboard as he responded to his new friend. He didn't notice the front door opening, or when Burt peaked down the stairs and smiled at the look of happiness on Kurt's face. The smile only widened when Kurt and Blaine exchanged email addresses, Blaine explaining that he couldn't always log into the site, but still wanted to be able to chat with Kurt.

* * *

Kurt was walking down the halls at school when his iPhone vibrated in his pocket. He drew to a stop in the middle of the hall to pull the phone from skin-tight jeans, smiling down at the email he had received with a smile on his lips. It was a simple message, only a couple words wishing him a good morning and to have courage, but it was from Blaine, and the daily (multiple times throughout the day, if Kurt were to be honest) emails had become the best part of his day—if you didn't count the messaging on Skype that they did after school. They had both chosen not to use the webcam, or even the voice chat, liking the anonymity of not actually knowing what the other looked like, but Kurt was finding himself more and more curious as the week went on.  
He thumbed the keyboard, shooting back a short reply.

**To bwarbler:**  
_I'm going to need courage, today. Rachel is wearing yet another atrocious reindeer sweater, and she won't trust my impeccable fashion sense after the last time I helped her with a makeover. It's tragic, because she really needs it. Good luck on your test today! xx Kurt. _

He was waiting for the message to finish sending, when Karofsky slammed into him, sending Kurt into the lockers and his phone skittering to the floor.

"Stay out of my way, ladyface." Karofsky growled, pushing Kurt into the lockers firmly.

"I'd try to point out that I wasn't even in your way in the first place, but I don't think little things like logic and facts would make much sense to you, would they?" Kurt muttered under his breath as Karofsky stalked down the hallway, students parting like the Red Seas before him. Kurt sighed, looking around for his phone.

It was only a couple steps away, the screen thankfully still in flawless condition. When he tapped the home button the screen lit up with a short, to the point, message from Blaine that simply read "Courage." The message brought a small smile to Kurt and he huffed out a soft laugh. Courage was the only thing keeping him going at this point, and while he had no intention of calling Karofsky out, he couldn't say how much longer he'd be able to put up with this kind of behavior.

* * *

The problem was that as the day wore on, Karofsky seemed to be everywhere that Kurt was. He would show up between Kurt's classes, each time body checking him into walls and lockers, whichever was the most convenient. The teachers' eyes would just wander over the signs of the abuse, and each time Kurt's jaw would clench a little tighter. The only thing that could relieve that tension was when his phone vibrated to signal a new email from Blaine, the emails running from amusing anecdotes to a celebration.

**From bwarbler**  
_David is threatening to steal Wes' gavel again. Please tell me that if I need to run away from these two you can find me a place to stay! ;) xx Blaine_

**From bwarbler:**  
_Passed my test with flying colors! Thanks for helping me study last night! xx Blaine_

Kurt was almost at Glee when he got another message from Blaine. He slowed to a stop and ducked into the nearest bathroom to look at it.

**From bwarbler:**  
_Everything okay, Kurt? You haven't replied to my last couple emails and I understand completely if you're too busy. It's just normally you reply and I know you've been having problems and… Just let me know. xx Blaine. _

Kurt frowned, trying to remember if he had messaged Blaine back, and was surprised to note that actually, he hadn't. He'd been too worried about Karofsky running into him and causing him to lose his phone a second time. He had to rectify that immediately, and so he responded with a quick note that he was busy and would be online later to chat. Glee had started a couple minutes before, and Kurt had to get there before anyone noticed he was running late.

**From bwarbler:**  
_I understand. But if you need to talk, I'm here. Or, well, tell you what, I'll give you my number and you can text me. I've missed hearing from you, Kurt. xx Blaine. _

Kurt gave his phone a smile and put Blaine's number into his contacts.

"Hey, Boo," Mercedes leaned into Kurt, looking down at his phone as Kurt scrambled to hide it away in his pocket. "Who was that?"

"No one. Just. You know. A friend." Kurt blushed, not making eye contact.

"Aww, come on, Kurt. You've been attached at the hip to that thing for the past couple days. And every couple minutes you're smiling at it. You can't be telling me that's no one." Mercedes grinned, nudging Kurt's shoulder with her own. "Is it a guy? And is he hot?"

"Mercedes!" Kurt said in a scandalized voice, his eyebrows lifting as he looked around the classroom where thankfully everyone else was occupied with watching Rachel singing yet another song to Finn.

"Well?"

"Fine." He huffed, and rolled his shoulders back, straightening as he looked back at Mercedes. "Yes, it's a guy. I don't know if he's hot we've only been talking through email. We met online in one of those LGBT support forums."

Mercedes eyes narrowed as she leaned in to ask quietly. "Are you sure about talking with some guy you met online, Kurt?"

"We're just talking. And he gets it, you know? He's gay, too, and he just... he understands me."

Mercedes frowned. "Boo, you know I understand, too. And if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me, you don't have to go finding some stranger online to talk to. I'm your _friend_. I can support you, too."

Kurt sighed, his face softening as he lightly touched Mercedes shoulder. "I know, Mercedes. And you're a great friend. There are just some things you _can't_ understand."

"I can try—" Rachel's solo came to an end and Mercedes' mouth closed with a snap as she shot Kurt a look that promised they would talk about this later.

Kurt heaved a soft sigh of relief as Mercedes got up to do her own song. He loved Mercedes, and she was one of the best friends he could have ever asked for, but for all that she was sure she could understand what he was going through it came down to the simple fact that she really couldn't understand. Mercedes was a heterosexual girl. There was no way that she could understand how it felt to be a _homosexual guy_. No matter how hard she tried. And Kurt couldn't begrudge her that. As it was the Glee Club was harassed and bullied enough, and Kurt was glad that she didn't know how much harder they were on Kurt for being gay.

When Mercedes' solo was over there was still no chance for them to finish their conversation, and as soon as Glee was over Kurt was out the door and sending a text message to Blaine as he hurried to his Navigator.

**Kurt:** _Blaine! Glee Club is over, and I can now listen to you regale me with tales about your day. (This is Kurt by the way. Not some random stranger texting you. Unless, of course, this is not Blaine.) X Kurt. _

There was barely a pause before Kurt's phone was buzzing with a response.

**Blaine:** _No, this is definitely Blaine. Glad you got my email, Kurt. My day has been good. I'm much more interested in your day. What had you so busy earlier? xx Blaine. _

"Just the usual. My day's been full of dealing with all the Neanderthals at this school..." Kurt stared at the message before backspacing, deleting the note about the bullying. He knew Blaine got it, that he'd been there and that he would understand, but... He didn't want their entire friendship to be based around his issues. That wouldn't make for much of a friendship.

**Kurt:** _Just the usual. And I'm sure it's nowhere near as interesting as the hiding of Wes' gavel. Please, indulge my curiosity! x Kurt._

* * *

Blaine laughed softly as his phone vibrated with another message form Kurt. He'd been starting to worry when there'd been no replies to his emails earlier, and was relieved to see that Kurt was finally able to text—though he was fairly certain that there was more to the story than Kurt was letting on, especially in light of the last few weeks' emails. Still, whatever was going on obviously wasn't enough to stop Kurt from being as witty as ever.

"Blaine," Wes waved a hand in front of Blaine's face.

Blaine jumped. "Sorry, Wes."

Wes sighed. "I've been trying to get your attention for the past few minutes. You've been distracted by your phone."

"Sorry," Blaine rubbed the back of his neck. "Just a friend."

"The same friend you've been emailing constantly?"

"Uh. Yeah." Blaine blushed slightly, fighting back a smile. "Sorry, man."

"It's all right. You do know that the Warbler meeting hasn't been adjourned yet, though, right?"

"Yeah, I was just... concerned, is all."

"Oh?" Wes raised an eyebrow, guiding Blaine towards one of the couches in the choir room. "Did you want to share what's got you so concerned." It was a statement rather than a question, and Blaine huffed a sigh.

"It's just... He's being bullied for being gay, and I understand how that is," Blaine paused to look at Wes, "And I want to be a good friend for him, but it feels like he's holding back."

"Do you remember when you first got here?"

"Yeah, of course." Blaine shrugged, watching Wes. Of course he remembered when he had first transferred. He remembered how hard it had been to open up and how patient Wes had bee-oh. "Yeah."

"Yeah. It was hard, but I couldn't force you to open up, and it took you a while, but now look at you."

"I guess."

"Look, just be there for him to talk to. And in the meantime, distract him. If he's anything like you were, he doesn't want to think about the bullying, and I can't imagine how difficult it would be to talk about it while it's still happening."

"You're right, Wes." Blaine smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Blaine." Wes paused. "Except Warblers practice. You know you can't keep doing that."

"Sorry. Again." Blaine laughed.

Wes grinned and nudged Blaine's shoulder with his own. "Now, are you gonna reply to your friend?"

"Shit!" Blaine ignored Wes' laughter as he pulled out his phone and scrambled to reply to Kurt.

**Blaine:** _Sorry! I was just getting a talking to for being distracted during Glee! The hiding of the gavel was effective, until Wes figured out where it was. I'm pretty sure he decided to use it twice as often to make up for the first fifteen minutes when he couldn't find it. How was your Glee? xx Blaine_

Blaine looked up after sending the text and was surprised to see that Wes was gone. Either way, it wasn't a big deal, and he knew Wes didn't mind that he'd been distracted by texting Kurt.

**Kurt:** _Glee was... Glee. I mean, Mercedes noticed I'd been spending a lot of time on my phone lately emailing you, and was a little concerned. She can't seem to understand how nice it is to have someone to talk to who gets it, but she's trying. _

**Blaine:** _Yeah, Wes noticed too. But he's pretty good about it. Even if he did leave without saying goodbye while I was talking to you. I'm glad you've got a friend who tries to understand. Does she know about the... you know? _

Blaine bit his lip, regretting it after hitting send. He'd just said he would give Kurt the time and space to come to him with the bullying, but Blaine was... concerned. Understandably so, he thought. After all, Kurt was his _friend_. And if Blaine was looking forward to the messages the two exchanged regularly it was only because he enjoyed reading Kurt's biting commentary on everything.

**Kurt:** _She does and she doesn't. Glee Club isn't exactly high on the social status meter, so we've all had to deal with some bullying, but she doesn't get that there are more reasons for the Neanderthals here to get at me. _

**Kurt:** _Whatever. They'll work for me one day. _

Blaine laughed at Kurt's last message and shook his head. Kurt was so _strong_ and Blaine couldn't get over how amazed he was. Here was a boy who was being bullied, and yes, he was struggling, but he could still find the strength to make jokes about what was going on. And Blaine was so... proud? He couldn't be sure, but he was definitely feeling something.

**Blaine:** _I'm sure they will, Kurt. If nothing else they'll know your name when it's up in lights on Broadway. ;) _

* * *

Kurt was lying in bed later that evening, his nightly moisturizing routine complete. It was getting late, but Kurt couldn't quite relax enough to fall asleep. He knew Mercedes had gone to bed a few hours ago, and he didn't want to wake her up, but he was feeling restless and just wanted to talk to someone. On a whim he pulled out his phone.

**Kurt:** _Hey, are you still up? _

There was no response. Kurt sighed and set his phone down, rolling over to stare up at his ceiling in the darkness. A couple minutes later, the room lit up as his phone buzzed beside his head. Kurt couldn't help the smile as he reached over to pick it up.

**Blaine:** _Sorry, was just finishing up in the shower. What's up, Kurt? _

Kurt flushed, his mind automatically taking him _there_. Even though he'd never seen Blaine before, he couldn't help imagining him as being... well, gorgeous. The face was hazy, but he could picture brown eyes and brown hair, and a great body with a towel wrapped around the waist... Kurt swallowed hard as his body reacted.

**Kurt:** _Ummm. Wow. Sorry, Blaine. I just couldn't sleep. _

* * *

Kurt's response arrived, and Blaine laughed as he read it. He finished rubbing the towel over his hair before tossing it over the desk chair. After looking at the message he had sent Kurt and the response he got back, he couldn't help but grin. He may have only known Kurt for a little while, and only through emails and text messages but he couldn't help the flirting that came so naturally. Part of his charm, or so he liked to think.

**Blaine:** _I hope that was a good wow. ;) _

**Blaine:** _Why can't you sleep? _

**Kurt:** _I wish I knew. Just can't turn off my brain for once. _

**Blaine:** _That's totally normal Kurt. Did you just want to chat for a while? Might help to take your mind off of things. _

**Kurt:** _Sure. But can we not talk about school? I need a break from it all, you know? _

Blaine nodded before realizing that Kurt wouldn't actually be able to see him.

**Blaine:** _As long as you don't mind that I'm in bed while we chat. _

**Kurt:** _Blaine! _

Blaine laughed, imagining Kurt's voice with that scandalized tone in it. He crawled under the covers after turning out the lights.

**Blaine:** _Don't sound so shocked, Kurt. I'll bet that you're in bed too. _

* * *

Kurt groaned, his arm covering his eyes, and his cheeks flushed hot. He wasn't sure, because this had never happened before, but he was starting to suspect that Blaine was _flirting_ with him. And Kurt was definitely enjoying the flirtation. And really, where was the harm in flirting back, he reasoned. After all, they didn't know each other, really, he could have passed by Blaine anywhere and never have to worry that this boy would know who he was. It was... freeing.

Kurt's phone buzzed in his hand and he lifted his arm from his eyes so he could look at the new text from Blaine.

**Blaine:** _Sorry, Kurt. Are you still there? _

Kurt bit his lip. Was he really going to do this?

**Kurt:** _Yeah, just a little bit distracted. You're right, though, I am in bed. And so are you... ;) _

Kurt paused a moment before hitting the send button, feeling the flush in his cheeks spread lower as he watched the message progress. He could hardly believe he had done that, but... his thoughts were interrupted by Blaine.

**Blaine:** _In bed and still wet. *waggles eyebrows*_

Kurt laughed, but it came out more of a groan.

**Kurt:** _Really? That's what you're going with? Waggling eyebrows. _

**Blaine:** _Well, what were you hoping for? _

Kurt grinned.

**Kurt:** _Well, a little description would be nice. I mean, I have no idea what you even look like, and just in bed and wet does not help to distract me. _

Which was such a _lie_. He may not know what Blaine looked like, but he was a teenager, and he had a fantastic imagination, even if he didn't watch _those_ movies.

The conversation lasted well into the night, and when Kurt eventually fell asleep it was with a smile.

* * *

Kurt slammed his locker shut, surprised to find Mercedes standing on the other side and watching him with a smile.

"Hey, Boo."

"Mercedes!" Kurt grinned, tucking his cell into his cardigan's pocket, for once not caring that it would ruin the line of his outfit. He would much rather have his cell phone close at hand for whenever Blaine texted him next. Since the other night their texting had been much more frequent and much more flirtatious. And Kurt wasn't going to complain at all. He was enjoying their exchanges. "What brings you over to my little corner of the hallway?"

"I've been here for a couple minutes. Still talking to your friend, I see?"

Kurt couldn't stop the wide smile. "Yes. He's... amazing, Mercedes."

"Sounds like somebody's got a crush!"

"No!" Kurt flushed, cursing his pale skin. "I just... he's nice, you know? And he makes me smile."

"I'm glad." Mercedes paused, watching Kurt carefully. "I haven't seen you really smile like that in a while. Since before your dad..."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said softly.

"Don't be," she smiled, leaning back against the lockers. "I mean, I get it. Things probably haven't been the easiest for you, and I'm just glad that you have someone around who you can talk to. And who can make you smile. You look happy, Kurt."

"I am. I know we haven't ever met, but he's so nice and he says all of these really sweet things..." Kurt trailed off, sighing happily. Sweet wasn't the only things Blaine was texting to him, but he was pretty sure Mercedes did not need to know about their flirting. And really, it wouldn't be fair to her to flaunt his... not quite relationship, but something a little bit more than friendship. Mercedes and he had always been happy being single together. Well, other than last year when Mercedes had a crush on _him_ but that wasn't something they talked about.

Besides, Kurt liked having this secret flirtation. It was something just for him, and it felt good to know that someone cared, that someone seemed to like him for who he was, who hadn't made a snap judgment based on how he looked or sounded. Especially someone as good looking as Blaine had sounded from the way he described himself—even if Kurt was fully aware of how easy it was to make an assumption based on nothing, really.

Mercedes grinned and touched Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt."

Kurt shook himself, rousing from his thoughts about Blaine. "Yeah?"

"The bell rang. We've got to get to class."

Kurt blushed as Mercedes laughed and pushed at his shoulder. "Sorry!"

"Don't worry about it. Come on."

Kurt followed Mercedes to their French class, laughing as she chattered at him about Rachel and Finn's latest drama. He knew Mercedes had been jealous before about his chatting with Blaine, but he was glad to see that she seemed content with the way things were right now. Just because he also had Blaine didn't mean he wanted to lose his friendship with Mercedes. When his phone vibrated in his pocket, he ignored it, content to finish the conversation with Mercedes before class started.

* * *

Blaine was no better off than Kurt was. Even though Dalton policy strictly forbade the use of cell phones during classes, Blaine found that he was completely unable to leave his phone behind in his locker, or even his bag. Over the past few weeks, the messages between Kurt and himself had evolved to be... well, one of the best parts of the day. Not only was Kurt witty and sarcastic, but he was constantly a source of entertainment and the flirtation between them was... well, Blaine had never been someone's boyfriend, and while he might flirt with everyone, he'd never really felt this way before. It was nice, though.

Wes had started to bug Blaine about Kurt, teasing him frequently about his internet boyfriend. But the fact that Kurt made Blaine smile the way he did was never a bad thing. And Wes, for all that he ribbed Blaine about it, was supportive of Blaine's friendship with Kurt. He'd even been known to cover for Blaine a couple times when the teachers had almost caught him with his cell phone out. Like today.

The teacher was walking down the aisle when Wes caught Blaine's grin from the corner of his eye. As the teacher grew nearer, Wes put up his hand. "Mr. Doster, could you help me with this question?" The teacher paused at Wes' desk, leaning over to look at Wes' work. With the teacher distracted, Wes shot Blaine a look.

"Thank you," Blaine mouthed at Wes, tucking his cell phone back into his blazer's pocket as Wes nodded in response. The class was almost over anyway, and really, while Wes was pretty good at math, there was never any harm in getting a bit of extra help in calculus. Still, when class was over Blaine was fairly certain that he was going to have to explain the situation to Wes. After covering for him the way he had, Blaine was fairly certain his best friend was going to demand that much. He could only hope that Wes hadn't caught the blushing.

* * *

When class was over, it was easy to grab the back of Blaine's blazer and draw him to a standstill in the middle of the bustling hallway. Wes, looked around before tugging Blaine towards an alcove and holding out his hand. "Phone."

Blaine raised an eyebrow, and shook his head. "Uh, no. What's going on Wes?"

"You owe me. And I want to know who you've been texting and why it was so important that I had to distract Mr. Doster for you."

Blaine flushed, looking down at the ground. "I was just... texting Kurt."

"Again?" Wes grinned. "You dog."

Blaine's head whipped up, eyes wide as he looked at Wes. "It's not like that!" He said hurriedly.

"You don't like him?"

"No, I do. But... I mean, it can't be like that, you know? I mean, we met _online_."

Wes rolled his eyes. "Blaine, haven't you seen all those eHarmony ads? A lot of people are meeting online these days."

"I don't even know where he's from, though, Wes." Blaine pulled out his phone, looking down at it as though it would answer him.

Wes rolled his eyes, and seriously, if he kept doing that his eyes would probably stay that way, and he grabbed Blaine's phone from his hand. He looked down at the text message, pulling up the contact info before laughing. "Ohio area code, Blaine. Wherever he's from, it's at least in state."

Blaine's eyes widened as he looked at Wes and his phone. "Really?"

Wes laughed and handed Blaine back his phone. "Yeah. And, by the way, Kurt wants to know what you're wearing today. You sure things aren't like that?" Wes wiggled his eyebrows at Blaine as he ducked out of the alcove and hurried towards his next class.

* * *

**Blaine:** _Well, Wes just saw that text message. And what am I wearing Kurt? Wouldn't you like to know? ;) xx Blaine_

Kurt laughed quietly, as he made his way through the hallways. Mercedes had broken off to go to her next class which they, unfortunately, did not share. French hadn't been too bad, but Mercedes had kept shooting him looks as he continued to text Blaine throughout the entire class. Not like it was that big a deal, even if the teacher would have caught him, since Kurt was fairly fluent already, but he supposed it was the principle of the thing.

**Kurt:** _Well, I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell you what I'm wearing instead. _

Kurt grinned wickedly as he ducked his head, not even waiting for a response from Blaine before he sent another text message.

**Kurt:** _Which, in case you're wondering, is actually a kilt. And yes, I am fully Scottish underneath this thing. ;) xx Kurt_

The hallways weren't quite clear, yet, but they were starting to empty out as most of the students were already in their next class. Kurt was slow today because most of his attention had been on the phone, and so it was with surprise that he almost walked right into Karofsky and Azimio.

"Told you, man, Hummel's too focused on that phone of his." Azimio sneered as he nudged Karofsky. "Bet it's his boyfriend."

Karofsky let out a bark of laughter and shook his head. "Bet his boyfriend doesn't even know that Hummel's not a girl. Look at the way he's dressed." Karofsky paused, almost as if for flair before adding. "Hey, Hummel, I think your outfit needs some more color. Let me help you out." Karofsky then threw the rest of his vibrant blue slushy into Kurt's face.

Kurt stood, frozen in shock as Karofsky and Azimio high-fived and made their way down the hallway. He wiped the slush from his eyes before looking around. The other students' carefully averted gazes were enough to tell him that there would be no help. Again. He swallowed hard before lifting his head high and pivoting on his heel. He'd passed a washroom a couple doors back, and if he didn't get the blue out of his shirt right away it would stain. His phone vibrated in his hand, but Kurt couldn't stop to look at it. He was certain that if he looked at the text message from Blaine now he wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that were threatening.

**Blaine:** _Damn, Kurt. Scottish? Really? You'll have to tell me more. And here I am, all dressed up in a blazer. _

Blaine was still grinning at their flirting that had been going on for the past few weeks. He was enjoying the conversations, of course, but ever since that night when they had really started to flirt in earnest it seemed that Kurt had opened up a bit more and, sure, he still didn't know which part of Ohio Kurt was from, Blaine was starting to feel maybe a little bit of hope.

He liked Kurt, and of course he hoped that there was a chance that maybe at some point they could be more than friends. At the same time, though, Blaine really didn't want to be pushing Kurt. Maybe he was just interested in flirting. Blaine remembered how good it felt the first time another guy had flirted with him, and the way it made him feel.

He sighed and glanced at his phone. He'd sent the message to Kurt fifteen minutes ago and there was still no answer. Study hall was boring usually, but Blaine had been looking forward to exchanging texts with Kurt. It would have made the time pass by so much quicker. When he checked for a new message once again, Blaine knew he had to put the phone away. If he didn't at least get some of his work done he was pretty sure he'd start falling behind in school. And with his parents having sent him to such a prestigious school and strict instructions to keep his grades up, Blaine couldn't afford to get behind. With one last sigh, he tucked his phone back into his pocket and ignored the worry. Had he pushed Kurt too far with the flirting?

* * *

Kurt ignored his phone for the rest of the day. It was much easier to worry about avoiding the bullying in the hallways when he wasn't looking at his phone, and if Mercedes shot him a couple concerned looks—first at the change of clothes and then later when she noticed that he hadn't been on his phone at all since French—that was to be expected. Mercedes, for all that she may not have noticed how bad the bullying had gotten, was still his best friend. He shot her a grateful smile, even as he dodged the questions.

It wasn't that he was trying to avoid Mercedes, Kurt assured himself as he ducked into the men's washroom between classes, it was more that he didn't want to explain to her that things were bad enough that he couldn't even bear to text Blaine. And he really didn't want to explain the text messages that they'd been exchanging prior to the slushy incident.

Or the way they made him feel.

His phone vibrated again, and Kurt sighed again. School was over, and he was just waiting long enough for the way to be clear so he could get home. After waiting for a couple more minutes, still ignoring his phone, Kurt finally felt like it was safe enough to get out of there. And the first stop before home would be for coffee. After the day he'd had, he was fairly certain that coffee was necessary.

* * *

The Lima Bean was still as busy at it had been the last time Kurt was there, but it was a warm kind of busy, and Kurt relaxed as he stood in line. Busy at school tended to mean that no one noticed and no one cared. Busy here meant that no one was paying attention, so Kurt could just be himself. He smoothed a hand down the grey trousers he had changed into after the slushy, glad he'd still had a decent change of clothes in his locker. The slushies had been happening far too frequently of late and it was surprising that the rest of the Glee Club hadn't noticed just how often Kurt had been changing while at school.

Kurt ordered his coffee on autopilot, settling into one of the many tables before pulling out his phone. There were a series of text messages from Blaine, ranging from flirty to apologetic, finally to worry. He smiled, the corners of his lips quirking up slightly as he read through the gamut of them.

**Kurt:** _I'm so sorry. I'm afraid that school is like a war-zone, at times. One must be constantly aware of everything that is going on at all times otherwise, well, one may end up with a blue face and a ruined McQueen shirt. _

Kurt leaned back in his chair, his phone on the table in front of him as he took a sip of his coffee. He let his eyes wander around the coffee shop, not too surprised to note the group of boys in blazers that he'd seen the last time he was there. The one with the gelled-down hair seemed to recognize him if the small smile—and was he blushing?—was anything to go by, and Kurt shot a half-smile back before looking down at the table.

At least there was some decent eye candy to be looking at while he was relaxing. While he was watching, one of the boys leaned over another, looking over his shoulder and laughing. Kurt couldn't hear what was being said, but it looked like the two were good friends. For a moment, Kurt allowed himself to wonder how it would be to have a guy friend like that, but shook the thought off as his phone buzzed out a reply.

**Blaine:** _No, it's okay, Kurt. Are you doing all right, though? I was starting to get a bit worried. _

There was the sound of boys chattering, and awwing, as Kurt took another sip of his coffee.

**Kurt:** _I'm not sure. It's just so hard, you know? Every day just gets worse and it's one thing to have someone to talk to in you, but at the same time the Neanderthals at my school are horrendous, and make things so... _

Kurt sighed.

**Kurt:** _They make things so hard. And I don't know how much more I can handle. _

**Blaine:** _I do understand. But you deserve so much better. You just need to have courage. _

Kurt laughed softly, wiping at his eyes discreetly. It was easy for Blaine to tell him to have courage, but it wasn't so easy for Kurt to do that. Every day was getting worse, and he honestly wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to take it.

**Kurt:** _I don't know if I can. _

**Blaine:** _I know you can do it Kurt. You're... You're pretty amazing, you know? _

From his seat, Kurt could hear the boys laughing and one voice calling out "Awww, our boy's in love!" Kurt looked up at the group of boys, eyes locking on the one almost directly across from him who was blushing as he pushed at his friend, trying to shush him with a smile on his face. It was the same cute boy from last time, and Kurt took a deep breath as he watched those hazel eyes for a moment before turning his attention back to his phone.

**Kurt:** _So are you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't answered me that day. xx Kurt_

Kurt was on his way out the door, as the same boy from earlier called out "And it looks like our boy's friend is in love with him too." Kurt was laughing as he left the room, missing the response of "Shut up, Wes!"

* * *

School the next day was just as tense as it had been for the past few weeks. Karofsky seemed to be everywhere that Kurt looked, and Kurt was still just as terrified to pull out his phone between classes. Still, whenever he checked it during class there were short messages from Blaine, from moaning about the pop quiz in math class to compliments, and to the single word of "courage" that couldn't help but make Kurt smile. Kurt was feeling a lot better after talking with Blaine yesterday, and he had just put his phone away after another courage text from Blaine had arrived. He could feel his pocket vibrating from another text just as Karofsky rounded the corner and shoved Kurt into a locker with barely a look.

And that was _it_. Kurt balled his hands into fists as he got back to his feet, pivoting to follow Karofsky into the locker room. "What is your problem?" he yelled, only to be met with lips pressed bruisingly hard against his own.

By the time Karofsky had left the room, Kurt had his fingers pressed to his lips as he drew shuddering breaths. His lips felt bruised, and he could taste pennies in his mouth as he lurched towards one of the stalls, barely managing to make it to the toilet in time to heave. Even though he could remember every second of what had happened, he couldn't believe it had. Karofsky had... but, no. He couldn't have done that... Karofsky was straight, and would never kiss him… Right?

Kurt sobbed, leaning against the cool porcelain, not caring about the state of his clothes or how disgustingly filthy the washroom really was. He couldn't... He couldn't stay there.

The door slammed behind Kurt as he ran from the locker room, from the school. He had to get home...

* * *

Blaine frowned down at his phone as he sent another text message. Yesterday Kurt had stopped answering him, too, but there was something a little different this time. They hadn't been flirting that much today, even if Blaine had continued to send text messages to Kurt. And it seemed Kurt had been enjoying it. If nothing else, Kurt had been replying with just as many witty and funny messages as he ever did. Blaine had been able to imagine Kurt smiling at the different messages, and that had made him happy, but this...

He sighed, flopping back onto his bed. The corner from his history textbook was poking into his shoulder and he pushed it aside. School had been over for an hour, and while normally Blaine would have either been out for coffee with the rest of his friends, he was worried... Normally, even when Kurt stopped messaging during the day he would have replied to Blaine by now.

**Blaine:** _Hey, is everything okay? I understand if you've had a bad day, Kurt, I'm just worried about you. You're my friend you know. And you can tell me anything. _

There was no answer and it was with another heavy sigh that Blaine rolled over and finally cracked open the textbook. He could hope that at least working on his homework would be enough to distract him from his worry about Kurt. And no one had to know if he continued to check his phone every couple minutes in the hope that Kurt would have replied by now. Each time there was nothing, though. Blaine found himself worrying even more.

He shoved the textbook aside after a few more hours of nothing and stripped to his undershirt and boxers, throwing on a pair of sweats as an afterthought. If studying wouldn't help get his mind off of Kurt, then maybe the heavy bag in the basement would do the trick. He rolled his shoulders while wrapping his hands, and set on the bag, imagining it was the face of his bullies. Imagining it was Kurt's bullies who had done something so terrible that Kurt had stopped talking to Blaine.

By the time Blaine was done, his chest was heaving, he was covered in sweat, his curls freed from the gel and loose around his face. He wrapped an arm around the still swinging bag and breathed deeply a few times before looking over to his phone. Still nothing. Blaine growled low in his throat and tossed his gloves to the side. He was too worried about Kurt to do anything right now except send another message.

* * *

When Kurt's phone buzzed on his dresser for what seemed like the hundredth time, he choked out a sob and finally stumbled over to look at it, keeping the overlarge bathrobe that belonged to his father wrapped around him. The robe even smelled like his dad, a slight hint of motor oil and the cologne Kurt had bought him for his birthday earlier that year. It smelled of comfort in the same way his mother's dresser smelled of comfort. But his dad... He smelled safe. There were messages piling up not just from Blaine, but also from Finn and Mercedes, both of whom were wondering why he had skipped Glee.

**Kurt:** _Just not feeling so good today, Finn. Can you let the others know I had a headache and went home? _

He frowned as he considered responding to Blaine, but... he had no idea what to say to him yet. In some way, Kurt felt almost as though he had betrayed Blaine, because he _liked_ the other boy, sight unseen, and a part of him had hoped... well, it didn't really matter what he hoped anymore. Kurt wiped at his eyes, trying his best to stop _crying_.

The hot shower when he'd arrived home had almost helped, but he felt tainted, dirtied by what Karofsky had done. And now that it was past midnight, Kurt couldn't sleep anymore. It was probably for the best if he were to be honest, because he had kept awakening from dreams of Karofsky kissing him again. Those were the easier nightmares. The ones that were terrifying were the ones where Kurt hadn't been able to push him off, hadn't been able to make Karofsky stop... It made him wonder what if he hadn't stopped? Would Karofsky have realized that what he was doing was wrong? Would he have even cared? Kurt swallowed back the nausea that was threatening.

Staying awake and stewing in his misery wasn't helping, either, though. Kurt kept getting stuck in an endless loop of "what if" and it was slowly driving him mad. He needed to talk to someone, and when his phone vibrated once again, Kurt couldn't resist looking.

**Blaine:** _Kurt, please. I just want to help. _

Kurt stared at his phone in silence for a couple minutes before nodding slowly. He was about to start replying to the text before he turned to his laptop instead. They hadn't exchanged emails in weeks, but a text message wasn't... it wasn't enough. Wasn't long enough or _personal_ enough. At least an email would let Kurt tell Blaine the whole story without interruptions. And if he had to take a break a few times to get his breathing under control, then at least Blaine wouldn't know. He wouldn't know how badly this kiss, his first kiss that mattered, had affected him.

* * *

Blaine was already in bed when his phone alerted him to a new email. Groaning, he was about the shove the phone under his pillow when he noticed the name. Why was Kurt emailing him so late? It wasn't that he was unhappy to hear from Kurt, of course not. He was relieved that Kurt was okay, or at least that he was okay enough to send him an email. Blaine had started to have flashbacks to the dance before transferring to Dalton, his ribs twinging with phantom pains as he tried not to think about Kurt being in that situation. But this...

Blaine skimmed through the email, his heart aching as he read what had happened. He knew Kurt was being bullied, but to find out that his main bully had been, what, harboring some kind of crush on Kurt? It was hard to accept for Blaine, let alone for Kurt, and Blaine tightened his hands into fists, drawing a deep breath even as he considered making use of the heavy bag for the second time that night. His fists were still sore, though, and it wouldn't help Kurt. The worst was when he read that Kurt had never been kissed before. At least Blaine had that much, and that was just _wrong_. Kurt was amazing, and to have his first kiss just stolen from him was almost more than he could handle.

Blaine read the email again, swallowing hard as his hand hovered over the reply button. Kurt may have gone to bed already. Or maybe he wanted more than just an email. Blaine wasn't sure. Their entire relationsh—friendship had been easy until now. Blaine had instinctively seemed to know what Kurt needed; usually basing those assumptions on what Blaine himself had needed after his own bullying. But this was different. And Blaine didn't know what to do.

He stared at his phone, thinking. Obviously Kurt was awake, even with how late it was, if he'd emailed him and Kurt... Kurt deserved more than just a text message or an email. He needed a friend, and somehow he was certain that Kurt hadn't told anyone else about what had happened.

He dialled the number, pressing send and then promptly hanging up. Oh God, what if he was misreading things? Or if Kurt thought he was being too forward? Or maybe Kurt only wanted Blaine as a friend, after all Kurt probably wasn't in the right state of mind for more than that after what had happened today. And if he had to, Blaine could probably be just that—a friend to Kurt. He nodded to himself, dialling Kurt again. The phone rang twice before there was a soft whispered hello.

"Kurt?"

Blaine could hear the shuddering breath of Kurt on the other end of the line, the soft choked off sounds that screamed that Kurt was crying.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. So, _so_ sorry."

"No. Blaine... it's not your fault." Kurt's voice was whisper soft, but Blaine could hear every exhalation. "Karofsky's just... He's a Neanderthal."

Blaine laughed, the sound ripped from his throat and followed swiftly by a sob. "God, Kurt. You sound... just like I imagined you would."

"Like an emotional wreck?" And Blaine could only imagine the raised eyebrow that Kurt was sure to be giving him through the phone.

"No," Blaine breathed. "Beautiful." Kurt almost seemed to gasp for air, and Blaine couldn't help the smile that followed it, quickly cutting Kurt off before he could answer. "I wish I hadn't waited so long to hear your voice, you know. We should have been calling each other all these times. It shouldn't have taken this..." Blaine waved his hand, not caring that Kurt couldn't see him.

"I know," Kurt said, his voice calmer now, less shaky. "But it's okay, Blaine. I... I'm glad you called now."

"Anything, Kurt..."

Kurt let out a slow breath, the exhalation sounding through the phone and making Blaine close his eyes, pretend that he could feel warm air on his shoulder, pretend that Kurt was right there beside him.

"I just... Can you do something for me, Kurt?"

"Of course."

"Close your eyes." He paused, waiting for a moment, for the soft hum that said Kurt had done what he had asked of him. "I know that was your first kiss, but it doesn't have to be. I mean, he forced that on you, and you don't... you don't have to consider that your first kiss."

Kurt laughed softly, and Blaine let out a soft breath at the sound. "I know that Blaine. But... I just wish it had been..." he trailed off, and Blaine stayed silent, waiting to see if Kurt would finish that thought. "Someone else," Kurt finally finished.

"Just someone else?" Blaine asked, the smile obvious in his voice. "No one in mind?"

"Maybe."

"It's okay, Kurt, you don't have to tell me. Can I tell you a secret though? I wish..." Blaine swallowed, squeezing his eyes tighter as though the darkness would help him find the courage to go on. "I wish it had been me."

Kurt was silent, and Blaine imagined he was waiting for him to finish that thought. It was better than the alternative. That Kurt wasn't interested, that he hated the thought...

"I mean, I've never seen you, and I know a description can be so vague, but... Kurt. I wish it had been me. I wish I could have been the one to kiss you for the first time, to cup your cheek and let you have the _choice_, to say no or to stop me, to kiss you gently like all first kisses should be, to maybe taste your lips, but..." Blaine trailed off, his breath shaky. "It's stupid, I just... I wish it was me."

* * *

Blaine wished it had been him? Kurt let out a shaking breath, his fingertips pressed against his lips once again, although this time it wasn't an attempt to replace the touch of Karofsky's, it was... Blaine wanted to kiss him? The boy that Kurt had a crush on, the boy Kurt wanted to kiss had wished had been the one to kiss him... He wanted that too? Kurt smiled and for a moment, everything was right. Everything was _perfect_. And then the doubts came creeping in, smothering the hope and joy that had been there just moment before.

No other boy than Karofsky had ever wanted to kiss him before, and Blaine... Blaine was a nice guy, a terrific friend, and he couldn't possibly like Kurt. Especially not after what had happened earlier that day. Not after the kiss, or after the way he had continued to ignore Blaine's text messages all day. It wasn't fair to Blaine to let him pretend to like Kurt, not because of this.

"Kurt?" Oh, right... he was still on the phone with Blaine. "Kurt, say something... please?"

"I..." Kurt choked back a sob. "I'm sorry, Blaine." Kurt hung up the phone, shutting it off before curling up under the covers once again. It just wasn't fair... He wished so much that it had been Blaine, that Blaine had been kissing him, just like he had described. Kurt could feel the phantom touch of Blaine's lips against his own, slightly chapped but wide, the way his hand would curve around his cheek and even tangle in Kurt's hair, but he wouldn't care because it was _Blaine_... Kurt buried his head in the pillow, bitter tears staining the silk. Karofsky had stolen this from him too, and Kurt had no clue how would be able to cope with that.

* * *

Blaine stared at his phone, the words "call ended" flashing. Kurt had... he'd hung up on Blaine? That... was not expected. Before calling Kurt, Blaine had been so sure. So set that this was what they both had wanted. He'd been so sure that the flirting had been mutual, that Kurt had liked him, that Kurt had maybe wanted to try being more than friends. After all, they were always flirting, and while Blaine may have been the one to start it, Kurt had never told him to... Oh. Oh, no...

Blaine lurched from bed, stumbling over the forgotten runners on his floor before heaving into the toilet. He was never gladder to have an en-suite bathroom than he was now. He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, shakily rising to his feet to brush his teeth. He was just like Kurt's bully. Maybe Kurt hadn't stopped Blaine because he was afraid and then Blaine had called him and pushed yet another thing, this time a _kiss_ just like what Kurt's bully had done and... _fuck_. Blaine didn't swear often, but this was a situation that seemed to demand the coarse language.

He had to apologize. But what if Kurt never wanted to hear from him again. Never wanted... No. He couldn't spend all of his time worrying about that. If nothing else this was just a miscommunication. Blaine was sure it could be resolved with a simple apology, and, well, maybe some grovelling. He'd just tell Kurt that he was just saying those things to be... what, nice?

Okay, so that probably wouldn't smooth things over. Blaine sighed, kicking the runners to the side as he moved back towards his bed. He could just be honest. Knowing Kurt, that would probably be the best plan, really. Be honest, tell Kurt that he'd started to develop _feeling_ and wanted to see how things played out, and that obviously Kurt didn't feel the same and it was okay. Blaine was kind of used to rejection (which was a lie, because really, Blaine had never really crushed on someone the way he was on Kurt, but Kurt didn't need to know _that_ part). And then maybe, well, if nothing else they could go back to being friends.

Things would be okay. Blaine would make sure of it. He began to make plans, elaborate plans that would require at least the use of the Warblers, and maybe some stalking to find Kurt... He fell asleep, plans half-formed, but feeling hopeful.

* * *

At school the next day, Kurt was a wreck. For the first time in, well, forever, he wasn't as fabulous as he normally was. A small part of him was amused by the fact that all it took was his first kiss from a boy and suddenly he wasn't dressing flamboyantly. The rest of him was hurting, though. He'd spent the rest of the night recriminating himself for the way he acted... at school, on the phone with Blaine, all of it. He was torn up with self-accusations, putting the blame on himself for the way he dressed, with the idea that maybe Azimio and Karofsky had been right in that he was _asking_ for it.

And Kurt was sickened to think of it in other terms: if he had been a girl it would have been so easy to blame Karofsky. To insist that a girl wasn't asking for it, didn't deserve to be kissed, no, _sexually assaulted_ like that. Kurt wasn't a girl, though, and while he was more comfortable with the girls, he found it hard to use that reasoning for himself.

Then there was the Blaine situation. He liked Blaine. A lot. He could easily admit to having a crush on the other boy long before the kiss with Karofsky had happened. And sure, imagining it had been Blaine instead had been wonderful, but... Blaine was probably just feeling sorry for him. And Kurt had been hurt by too many boys to really believe that Blaine could like him that way.

* * *

Mercedes frowned, watching as Kurt stumbled through the hallways like a zombie. The past few weeks Kurt had been happy-the happiest she had ever seen him. There was a sliver of resentment towards Blaine, because he had been the one to make Kurt shine, and to make him really smile, but the bigger part of Mercedes was just glad that her friend had been _happy_. This? This wasn't her friend. Her friend was Fabulous, with a capital 'f', and even when he was sad he was still vibrant. If anyone had asked before today she would have sworn that no matter what, Kurt always shone. Now she wasn't so sure.

She'd tried to get Kurt's attention a few times during the day, but he had just looked right through her as though she didn't exist. It was like he hadn't heard her. And as the day went by and Mercedes watched him, she noticed that Kurt kept bringing a hand up to his lips, in turns wiping at them and pressing against them gently. Something was going on, and Mercedes was determined to figure out what was troubling her best friend.

Unfortunately, that was looking to be a tall order, considering Kurt hadn't noticed Mercedes at all. In fact, the only person Kurt had seemed to be aware of was Karofsky, and the panic she had seen on Kurt's face was telling. She'd seen Kurt afraid of the bullies before, but the fear today was so much more than the usual.

It wasn't until Glee that Mercedes finally had a chance to talk with Kurt, but he was still ignoring everyone around him. At least she was able to stay near her best friend. Kurt's phone vibrated in his bag beside Mercedes, and Kurt flinched. Mercedes watched from the corner of her eye as Kurt slid his phone out for a quick look, his face falling. She hadn't realised that he had brightened at all until that moment, and when Kurt went to put the phone away, Mercedes stealthily snuck it back out, glancing down to see that it was just a message from Burt, letting Kurt know he'd be late for supper.

"Excuse me, Mr. Schue," Mercedes slid Kurt's phone into her pocket as she stood up. "I just need to use the washroom." She waited long enough for Mr. Schue to leave before she was out of the classroom, and scrolling through the contacts on Kurt's phone. When she found Blaine's number she ducked into a janitor's closet and hit dial. The phone had barely run before there was an answer.

"Kurt? Oh thank god, are you okay? I'm so sorry," the voice sounded panicked, and in the background was the sound of a door shutting.

"You must be Blaine." It wasn't a question.

* * *

Blaine let out a shaky breath. Not Kurt, and he could only think of one of Kurt's friends being daring enough to steal his phone. "Mercedes?" He paced the hallway outside of the Warbler's practice room. When Wes peeked his head out to check on Blaine he was greeted with a slight wave of the hand.

There was a quiet laugh on the other end of the line. "I take it he's told you about me then?"  
"A little, yeah. Is he okay?"

"That's why I'm calling you. I need to know what happened yesterday. Did you guys have a fight or something? Kurt's not looking much like himself today, Blaine. Boy's wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. And not even his designer skinny jeans either. I'm pretty sure those are his work jeans from the shop."

Blaine would have laughed if it wasn't for the fact that Mercedes sounded so serious. "I… I can't tell you everything that happened, you understand that, right Mercedes?"

"Whatever. Tell me what you do know, then."

He knew more than he could tell Mercedes. He had no qualms with telling her about his feelings for Kurt, about how he tried to tell Kurt last night, that he may have misconstrued their entire relationship… but he couldn't betray Kurt's confidence and tell her about the bullying. Besides, he reasoned with himself, she went to the same school and probably knew enough about the bullying to be able to tell what was going on.

"You still there, Blaine?" Mercedes interrupted Blaine's thoughts.

"Sorry. I just." Blaine paused. "I kind of… revealed to Kurt last night that I have feelings for him."

"That doesn't really explain much. He should have been thrilled to hear that. You're all he's been talking about for weeks." The frown in her voice was evident.

Blaine couldn't help the rush of hope, the smile on his lips… "Really?"

"Well, yeah. He really likes you. And you can't tell him I told you any of this!"

"No, I won't!"

"So why'd he get all down if you told him you liked him? Too far apart?"

"I don't know how far apart we are, actually. I know he's in Ohio, but I don't know… I'm in Westerville."

"Lima, here. So we're actually pretty close. Which means it can't be the distance." Mercedes paused, before rushing on, her voice suddenly firm. "I need you to explain what's going on with Kurt."

Blaine sighed, rubbing his forehead as he sank onto the bench outside of the practice room. "I may not have said I liked him in so many words."

"Oh?" Her voice was almost unnaturally calm. Blaine could see why Mercedes was such a great friend to Kurt if the way she was making Blaine want to open up was any indication.

"And…" Blaine swallowed hard, looking down at his lap. "I don't think he appreciates my affections, either, Mercedes."

"Bull. Boy, he's been talking about you for weeks. He _lights up_ whenever he's talking to you."

Blaine practically exploded, his free hand clenched into a fist as he shot to his feet. "Yeah well, if he liked me that much maybe he wouldn't have hung up on me when I told him I wanted to kiss him, last night. When I told him I wished that _I_ had been his first kiss!" His chest heaved as he took deep breaths, fighting to calm down.

There was a long silence, so long that Blaine was about to check to see if Mercedes was still there before she answered, her voice deceptively calm. "What do you mean his first kiss, Blaine?"

"I mean…" Blaine sighed, running his hand through his hair, disturbing the gelled down curls. "Look, I told him how I feel. Kind of. And he hung up. And I just want to apologize and maybe we could be friends again. It's better than nothing, right?"

"Blaine. Are you upset about Brittney?"

"Who?" Blaine frowned, honestly confused.

"His first kiss. I mean, you should know that Kurt is definitely gay. That kiss really meant nothing to him."

Well… He definitely wasn't expecting that. Blaine was silent as he resumed pacing. "No, I'm not upset about that. I just—" There was a beeping as his phone went dead, the words "call ended" flashing on the screen in a bitter replay of the last night. Blaine was half tempted to punch the wall, but he knew that he would regret it. Instead he rolled his shoulders back and stepped back into the Warbler's practice room, ignoring the concerned look Wes shot toward him.

* * *

Glee had ended five minutes ago and Mercedes still hadn't come back from the washroom. Kurt wouldn't have been too concerned about it if it wasn't for the fact that his cell phone was also missing. He waited for the rest of the Glee Club to leave, waving Finn off when he asked if Kurt needed him to stick around.

"No, it's fine. Dad won't be home until late and Carol has the evening shift at the hospital again."

"Cool. So is it, like, okay if I go hang out at Rachel's? She wanted me to go over the assignment with her and practice our duet."

Kurt snorted. "I'm pretty sure you don't need my permission, Finn."

"Yeah, okay. See you later, dude."

Kurt shook his head, hiding the fond expression behind a hand. It didn't matter how many times he asked Finn not to call him that, he would forever be calling Kurt 'dude'. And part of Kurt was reassured by the normalcy of it all.

He grabbed his bag and set off to find Mercedes. She wouldn't be in the washroom, especially since the girls probably would have sent her out if she'd been seen still in there, and the only place close by that offered any kind of privacy was the janitor's closet it seemed to be a safe bet that he would find his friend there.

"…kiss meant nothing to him," Mercedes was saying from behind the closed door.

Kurt felt faint as he paled. He opened the door, his stomach churning as he grabbed the phone out of her hands and looked to see who she was talking to. Blaine. Of course it was Blaine. "Shit," Kurt muttered, hanging up the phone before looking at Mercedes. "What was that about?"

"Kurt…" she pleaded.

"No. You know what, Mercedes, just don't. I can't believe you would…" Kurt flung his hands up in the air, spinning on his heel to stalk down the hallway.

"Kurt!" Mercedes rushed after Kurt, catching up to him quickly. "I was just worried about you."

"So you, what, call up the boy I have a crush on so you can tell him that I'm all fragile and broken today?"

"No. Kurt, _no_." Mercedes grabbed Kurt by the arm, wincing when Kurt flinched. "It's just… you've been telling him everything lately, and so I thought maybe he'd know why you seemed so sad today."

"Mercedes…" Kurt wrapped his arms around her, sighing with relief as he felt her wrap him in a hug. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't been the best friend lately, there's just been so much going on, and… I really do like him, you know?"

Mercedes sniffled slightly, wiping at her eyes before pushing Kurt back gently. "I'm pretty sure he likes you too, you know. And he seemed so worried when he answered. What's been going on?"

Kurt looped his arm through Mercedes', leading her towards the parking lot. "Just the usual, really. But sometimes it gets hard." He was quiet for a moment, looking at the ground as they walked out of the building. "And while I'm sure that Blaine likes me as a friend, anything more than that is just pity for the poor bullied gay kid."

"Don't say that, Kurt!" Mercedes protested. "You're a great guy, and if he can't see that, then I guess he doesn't deserve you anyway."

Kurt looked at Mercedes as they stood in front of their cars. He seemed to be searching her eyes for something and when he found it he smiled. "Thanks, Mercedes."

* * *

Blaine sagged back into the chair as the rest of the Warblers filed out from the room. Wes had worked them extra hard in anticipation of sectionals in a few weeks. There had been enough dirty looks thrown Blaine's way to understand that part of the extra work was also because of the interruption when Mercedes had called. And while Blaine was glad that Mercedes had called (and how amazing was it that Kurt lived so close?) he was also concerned about Kurt. While they had only been friends for a few weeks he knew enough to know that Kurt _lived_ for fashion.

Still, the fact that Kurt's best friend seemed so sure that Kurt liked Blaine in return was enough to give Blaine some hope. And it helped to assuage the guilt that had been churning in his stomach all day. He hadn't been forcing Kurt, and while he wasn't sure why Kurt hadn't been as happy as Mercedes had seemed to think he should have been, at least Blaine knew that there was still a chance.

"Blaine?" Wes' voice cut through Blaine's thoughts.

"Sorry, Wes. I know you said not to let this thing with Kurt affect practice, but—"

"It's fine, Blaine. Are you feeling better?"

Blaine nodded, tipping his head back to relax against the chair. "Yeah. I talked to his best friend and she seems to think that maybe Kurt likes me."

West snorted and when Blaine looked at him he smiled. "Man, he was asking you what you were wearing a few days ago. You two have been flirting like crazy. I'm pretty sure he likes you."

Blaine couldn't stop grinning. "Yeah. Hey, Wes, do you think the Warblers would be able to help me with this thing in Lima?"

* * *

Kurt sat in his car, staring down at his phone as Mercedes drove off. She had seemed so certain that Blaine liked him, and Kurt kind of regretted the way he'd behaved last night. He knew he should probably call Blaine and explain why he had hung up last night, but to be honest he couldn't imagine how well that would go over. And besides, what if Mercedes was wrong? No. Kurt dropped his phone into the cup holder beside him and put the car into drive. Kurt wasn't willing to open himself up to that kind of rejection just yet.

Of course, Kurt wasn't able to stop thinking about it. Thinking about the 'what if's and Blaine, and that _kiss_. He'd spent half the day imagining Blaine's lips on his own every time he closed his eyes and the other half wishing he never had to close them again. It wasn't fair that Karofsky had stolen that kiss, and it wasn't fair that Blaine hadn't been the one to kiss him. Even if it had only been out of pity, it still would have been better than what had actually happened.

His phone buzzed with an email alert and Kurt unlocked it, reading over the email from Blaine. He refused to admit that just seeing the name was enough to make him smile, but when he finished reading the email he couldn't help the full blown grin. Blaine wanted to know if he'd be willing to meet up for coffee at the Lima Bean, and Kurt… well, it wasn't like Kurt was going to say no to Blaine. Especially since Mercedes had seemed so certain that saying yes would be a good thing.

Although if Kurt was honest with himself, as he put his car into drive, while he was definitely looking forward to meeting Blaine in person. He couldn't help the flicker of hope that maybe the cute guy with the hazel eyes and gelled hair would be there as well. Or maybe even that he was Blaine. Kurt huffed a sigh and turned on the radio, letting the sound of the music fill the air and distract him from his thoughts.

* * *

Blaine piled into the car beside David, letting Wes take over the important role of driving Blaine on his, well, he wasn't sure if it could be called a date. He knew he _wanted_ it to be a date, and he hoped that Kurt would feel the same way. It was just, well, Blaine was a little worried, that's all.

"Stop that, Blaine." Wes frowned into the rear-view mirror.

Blaine stopped chewing on his lower lip and met the reflection of Wes' eyes. "What if—"

"He likes you," Wes cut him off with a smile.

David nudged Blaine with his shoulder. "If we weren't so sure that he liked you we would _not_ be doing this. But he does! I mean, we've practically analyzed every text message and email you guys have been sending back and forth and we all agreed." David looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Well, except for you because you're so worried that even when his best friend said he likes you, you won't believe it."

Blaine laughed, sagging back into the seat. "I guess. It's just… I really like him."

Wes grinned. "More than coffee shop guy?"

Blaine flushed. "Okay, so coffee shop guy is cute, but I mean, Kurt is just… he's amazing. He's witty and sarcastic and we can talk for hours."

"So there you go. You like Kurt, he likes you, and you're gonna get your man." David said.

"I'm going to try, anyway…" Blaine mumbled, looking out the window, and getting lost in his doubts again. What if Kurt didn't like him and everyone was wrong?

* * *

Kurt stood in line, anxiously looking over his shoulder whenever he heard the door opening. Blaine had said he would be here around now, and while, sure, Kurt hadn't seen a picture of Blaine—something he was definitely regretting right now as he had no clue if he was being stood up or not. He ordered a coffee, his shoulders drooping as he moved along. Blaine was ten minutes late.

The bell above the door jingled and Kurt looked over again. A group of blazer-clad boys came in, one of them practically being pushed through the door by the others. Kurt chuckled, turning back to the barista when she called out his name. "Thank you," he forced a smile. He turned back to look around the room once again, pausing to look at the boys and how they were all crowded around the cute one who looked like he was _staring_ at Kurt. He gave a small smile and waited.

* * *

Blaine stood up, adjusting buttoning his blazer as he nodded at his friends. He swallowed down his nerves, frustrated at the fact that they were even there. He wasn't sure just yet if Kurt liked him, but he had to hope and, well, call him old-fashioned but he wanted to woo the boy he liked. And… that was definitely not the kind of thing he should be thinking of right now. Not when the Warblers were getting into formation behind him.

Blaine could feel the push as Wes nudged him from behind, and he nodded once again, signalling that he was ready. The Warblers started singing the _dun dun duns_, and Blaine smiled at Kurt before singing his solo. _"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on…"_

And when Kurt started smiling back, Blaine knew everything was going to work out. After all, he was getting to serenade the boy he'd been crushing on both online and in person, and he was lucky enough that they were the same person. Blaine couldn't help the grin on his face at that point, and he made sure he was looking at Kurt and pointing at him throughout the song.

* * *

Kurt's cheeks hurt by the end of the song, a combination of too much smiling and blushing. He clapped his hands, then started to search for a seat. Suddenly there was a pair of warm hands on his shoulders and he stilled, slowly turning.

The boy touching Kurt dropped his hands, and Kurt slowly looked him up and down. Honey hazel eyes, gelled down curly hair, blue blazer with red piping…. Kurt swallowed, refusing to acknowledge how his cheeks were hot. Please, let this be Blaine, Kurt thought to himself. Because if Blaine was the same boy he'd been crushing on (kind of, if you can crush on someone you've only ever checked out a few times in a coffee shop) then life would be perfect.

"H… hi. Kurt? I mean, well, of course you're Kurt. She called you that before we started singing and that was kind of how I knew it was you so we could sing," the other boy stammered.

Kurt smiled, tipping his head to the side as he listened to him. "You're Blaine."

Blaine grinned and nodded. "Yes."

"My Blaine?" Kurt asked, immediately blushing after.

"Uh, yes. I mean, if you're my Kurt." Blaine winked at Kurt, and instantly Kurt relaxed again.

"Why did you sing—I mean, was it for me?"

"Look, I'm not good at romance, Kurt, but I've always wanted to… to _woo_ the boy I want to date. And singing for you was just one way I could do that. Is that… is that okay?"

"Yeah." Kurt smiled, dipping his head slightly. "So, where does this leave us, Blaine?" Kurt hid his nerves by taking a sip of his coffee.

"I like you, Kurt. And I'd like to be your boyfriend if you'd let me."

Kurt smiled, the smile spreading slowly. "I'd like that a lot, Blaine."

"Kurt," Blaine bit his lip, and Kurt's eyes dropped lower to watch as white teeth caught on lips that already looked red and full. "Can I kiss you?"

He didn't realise he was nodding until Blaine's hand was on his cheek, cradling his face as he leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips over Kurt's. Kurt breathed out a soft sigh before moving closer, kissing Blaine back with a soft hum. The small part of Kurt that wasn't lost in the kiss was glad of the PFLAG sticker on the door, sure that at least he wouldn't be kicked out or harassed for this. The rest of him though was focused on the kiss, how different it was from kissing Brittney (wet, messy, and it had done nothing for him) and from the kiss from Karofsky (dry, hard, and absolutely terrifying). Kissing Blaine though… Blaine pulled back and Kurt sighed once again, smiling. "Perfect."

Blaine blushed, his eyes on Kurt's lips. "I…" He shrugged his shoulders, smiling.

Kurt smiled and leaned back in for another kiss, abruptly pulling back at the whistles and cat calls. He looked over Blaine's shoulder, and ducked his head down against him instead when he noticed the crowd of boys in blazers. He'd completely forgotten that Blaine hadn't come in here alone. "Can I tell you a secret?" Kurt mumbled against Blaine's neck, ignoring the shiver that coursed through him.

"Yeah, of course." Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, and gently guided him away from the counter and towards one of the tables.

"I hoped it would be you." Kurt sank into a chair, putting his almost forgotten coffee down before him. He looked up in time to catch the smile that spread across Blaine's face as he sat down across from him.

"I hoped it would be you, too."


End file.
